THE BIG SNIP: THE FATEFUL JOURNEY TO DR. VLADAR’S OFFICE

There comes a time in a man’s life when he looks himself in the mirror, and says “self. Can I go without sleep any longer? How much is university projected to be in 2035? Do I have stock in Kraft Dinner yet?”, and ends up making some pretty important decisions about their future.

Dr. V Receiving His Very Own Dad Club London T-Shirt!

Some people are breeders, and just meant to have kids. 19 kids and counting and sounding like a real-life recital of the alphabet Olympics. Others are realists and realize that like Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton, Something’s Gotta Give.

Condoms were super important back when we found gym-tan-laundry to be an amusing concept and believed in the tightness of our t-shirts having a positive correlation to our appeal to the opposite sex, but nowadays there’s a certain level of “that’s a depressing sight” when you’re with the wife and look down with your Trojan in hand and see a few grey pubes.