MARTY MADNESS – DAY 2/7



Day Two – Thursday: Harvey’s 2nd Birthday



6:03am Harvey awakes… I disagree with this –  I get him back down. Victory. But this is just the battle, not the war. I’ll take it.


7:14am – 9am I’m the first awake this time, feed the cats, make coffee, drink coffee, no cat puke… going to be a good day. What can go wrong it’s pajama day at school, Harvey’s birthday and I’m planning on taking the kids to work to bowl and play arcade after school. Rosie wants to wear a dress, it’s crazy how young that starts – someone should do some testing in female DNA to see if there is indeed a #needtowearafancydress chromosome.


What can go wrong – multiple levels of sass, that’s what. I was bombarded by both of them, took it from the front and the back and even an accidental head butt to my boys downstairs… at least I hope it was accidental. Remember this is all before 9am.


But it didn’t last long thankfully. The level of patience of parents that stay home with their kids full time, either as single parents or primary care givers, should be bottled and used to cure this world of all the wrong that is out there. There is nothing stronger that exists, it’s fueled by love, rejecting hate, empathetic with a dash of shaping them to be something stronger and better for the world they inherit.


By definition, patience is the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without acting on negative annoyance/anger.


What it should say, the ability for a parent to find the good and the love in shitty (sometimes literally) situations, when all you want to do is bring out the duct tape, close your eyes, scream at the top of your lungs. Instead you hold, you listen, you love and make it all better.


9:30am-12pm Man, Harvey loves Dinotrux. He even dances to the theme song, which maybe the cutest thing known to man. I make him an everything bagel with veggie cream cheese – and he loves it. Such a crazy palate on this kid. My wife is a great cook and has traveled the world, she brings a lot of that back in her cooking with different spices. I remember when I was young, I ate sandwiches consisting of only plain chips and ketchup on white bread… god I miss Hamilton sometimes. Sometimes.


When he naps, I need to get us ready for his birthday adventure once Rosie gets home from school. He should go down easy, spent 1.5 hours at the park this morning chasing him around. I forgot to eat breakfast so my chasing eventually consisted of a light trot around the playground.


12pm-2pm He naps, I do the dishes and pack for supper out tonight. Watch Ant Man, it was enjoyable – Paul Rudd’s essence just makes you want to like him. Decided going to get caught up on all the superhero movies I have never watched, Dead Pool tonight.


2:07pm-3pm Empty all my cupboards out, reminded that our faucet has a slow drip but that’s not what I’m looking for. I think something is living in the wall of the dining room. It’s creepy, maybe it’s the trailer of the new IT remake, but it sounds like something dropping a coin to the floor every 5 minutes or so. No scratching – just this weird dropping sound. Oh well, I have cats – we shall see what we see. Although right now they just sit and stare at the wall perplexed.


3pm-6:55pm Celebration time! Get Harvey suited up in a fancy outfit for his birthday celebration! We pick up Rosie at school, of course her class is still inside. Little Harvey is antsy, so I let him out of the stroller, he lays down in mud and laughs hysterically. Rosie comes out and joins him, why not?


The look of disapproval is comedic – is it going to stop the world if your 2 and 5 year old roll in mud?! Pick your battles people, I rather toughen up on him when he tries to smear poo on his walls or bite his sister.


We change and hit the Palasad. The place is quiet but it sounds like bus load of school kids chattering on top of each other when we arrive. Both these kids love to babel at unspeakable levels.


The kids bowl, I play defense – make sure we have no injuries! Not on my watch… always on my watch. But they come out unscathed. We eat, they both do a decent job, which is surprising cause there is so much distraction. Then as I finish my Guinness I prepare myself for the arcade. Keeping these two wrangled with all this blinking lights is next to impossible – so I stepped back and watched both of them exploring what they wanted to do. Harvey got a dinosaur and Rosie got a Hello Kitty doll. Again.


7pm-7:48pm I'm glad I took them to work for some fun, but I am paying for it now. Zero cooperation. Zero listening. Zero sense of an end. I’m running on less than a quarter of a tank in the Daddy #staycalmtheyknownotwhattheydo tank.


I decided to split up story time, magically that seemed to quell the rage in their eyes. I think they have just had enough of each other’s company. And we are back on schedule. Teeth brushed. Bottle warmed. Pony tail out. Stories read. Songs sung. It’s 7:48pm, later then yesterday but I have an uneasy feeling. On nights we do a family outing – their sleep seems not be as consistently good as always.


8:12pm After a half hour of Rosie sniffling so loud that I thought our house was getting deep scanned by “The Greys” (I also crush X-Files on Netflix) Harvey thought best to join in the fun. It takes me 30 minutes, making this the worst bedtime in a long while, to settle them and myself (but I expected this). Good thing I have and Orange Fanta in the fridge. Gonna need that sugar rush for later.


9:23pm-morning About to cue up Dead Pool. Wow – what a good movie. Texted with my wife in Vancouver, she is nervous about her presentation. Which is odd because she is the smartest person I have ever met. Just too self critical at times. Rosie is out like a light, but the Harvinator is a squawk box turned up to 11. Have a feeling it’s gonna be an interesting night. That’s my cue. In I go.


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